I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
