So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
A+ Viking dick
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
