well I can't set my house on fire every night
I look better un-naked...
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
