You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
