She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
