i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
