my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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