She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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