If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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