I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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