We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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