in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
