I molested 6 butterflies tonight
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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