Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
