You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
