You're earring is so big in my mouth
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize