I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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