after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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