Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
