I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
