oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
