We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Randomize