I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
