look no pants
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I need to align my fucking chakras
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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