I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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