Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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