Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Randomize
