She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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