i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
