covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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