And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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