i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
