I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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