Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
The Olympian is in my bed
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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