I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
