"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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