I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
