wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
