Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
