she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
