did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
