i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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