I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I still have a little drunk in my system
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
