i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
