did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
