Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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