this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
