as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
