it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
