well most of my day revolves around power hour
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
