did you get engaged???
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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