Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
