I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize