I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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