Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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