He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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