i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
